Vexen's 'What If' Machine
by therichnobody
Summary: Vexen's new invention, the 'What If...' machine, can see what might happen in certain situations. Suggestion by Bluemoon4Sphinx, thanks! Third chapter is on! Still taking suggestions on what questions the Organization should ask! Summer vacation sucks yo!
1. The invention is complete

In honor of Vexen, 'cause he hardly has anything done for him. One of the least appreciated Organization members, (I think Xaldin is the first, followed by Luxord) don't you think he deserves more? After all, Axel assassinated him, and his fans hardly acknowledge that. (to my knowledge at least) So where am I going with this? This fic is starred by...da da-da DAAA!!! Vexen!!! (crowd cheers) Yay! On with the fic!

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts that is which owned by Square Enix (Squaresoft to you Final Fantasy fans) nor the 'What If...' machine idea. That is Futurama's original idea. Neither the reference to the "Shiny teeth" song created by The Fairly Odd Parents.

-----X-------X-----

_Hmmm... ... ...If I re-wire this quadrant...it should be able to send a current strong enough to fracture the time signal...Hopefully this time it will work, seeing that Number X won't help me... ... ...Finished..._

Vexen placed the screwdriver down before letting out a sigh. He stepped back to admire and take in his newest accomplishment. A small white television screen mounted on a silver base with a small retractable white microphone head sticking out of the side. He smiled, stepped behind it and flipped the switch on. The screen that was blank at first is now full of black and white static. He pulled the microphone out of its base and muttered into it, "Testing...testing...", earning the word 'online' flashing on the screen. "Commencing test sequence on Prototype X-26...begin data protocol." he said clearly into the microphone, observing the buzzing screen changing from black and white static to a clear light blue. He stared into the glowing screen, placing his hand on his chin and muttering incoherent strings of words. "Run program V-5," he said into the head of the device again, witnessing the screen turning a blinding white before shifting into a dense, deep red. "Now that can't be right..." he said, trying different program after program, obtaining different results every time. He was so close to figuring out the formula for his creation to work, after all, he just gotten back into mechanics, and didn't want his skills to get rusty. So without ceasing his efforts, he continued, oblivious to another presence in his laboratory.

-----X-------X-----

"Huh, I didn't know there was a whole different chart of letters...Wonder when Vexen will teach me those letters," Demyx said as he walked around the vast underground lab. Echoes would follow his every step on the hard steel floor as he made his way towards the large cabinets of flasks, test tubes and Bunsen burners, some of which were still hooked up to gas tanks. He leaned forward, reaching for the handle of the gas tank when he noticed a set of potions, more importantly a bright aqua one. "Oooh...that one's pretty..." he said to himself, picking it up but immediately dropping it and letting it crash on the floor. "YEOW! That's cold...oops...uhh... ... ...I guess I should clean that up." Demyx muttered looking around for a broom but nearly slipping on the liquid which was spreading on the floor at an alarming rate. He yelped and jumped onto the counter to avoid the now melting spot of steel tile. "Maybe he won't notice..." he laughed nervously, hopping off on the other side and deciding not to clean it. He spotted another flask of yellow liquid but before he could get it, he noticed Vexen peering over a _television_. "Since when did Vexen watch TV? I wonder what kind it is!" he smiled and hurried over to the Chilly Academic, slipping again since the concoction was still on his boots. "Hi Vexe-ahhh!" he screamed, crashing into a large bookshelf and knocking nearly half of the literature on him. Vexen looked up from the rainbow screen to see the Melodious Nocturne slamming into the shelf and being quickly buried in the books. He sighed, walked over there and searched through the books until his hands reached cloth. He yanked it up and out of the mound of books came Demyx, rubbing his head and smiling sheepishly.

"H-hiya Vexy! Sorry about the books and floor," he gasped upon seeing Vexen holding him by his hood. He grinned, looking at the mountain of books on the floor and continued, "I'll clean up the books. Promise. Cross my non-existent heart and hope to not die!"

Vexen sighed and dropped him. He straightened up and realized what he said earlier. "Wha-what about my floor?" He looked around and saw the melting steel revealing the singed (yes singed) concrete underneath. He rubbed his temple and sighed, ignoring the temptation of dropping Demyx's body on the acid puddle. "Demyx, what happened over there?" he asked the nobody who was re-shelving the books surprisingly.

"Huh? Oh, Roxas did it-Oh yeah when did'ya get a new TV?" he replied, easily forgetting his task and rushing over to the glowing screen.

Vexen sighed yet again, muttering something that sounded very much like 'Weak minded imbecile', and followed him to the machine. Seeing the spacious look on Demyx's face after staring into the screen for only a few seconds gave Vexen a few more ideas but he choose to put them out of mind. He turned the young nobody around, snapping out of his glazed look. "This, Demyx, isn't just a television. It's my latest mecca project, which I dubbed Gliese X-5257 World Hyperspaced Anatomic Time-based Imaginative Fabrication!" he pronounced proudly, leaving Demyx thoroughly confused.

"Huh? Galessie X-5 something something World hyperwhat-not...what was the rest? You lost me after that A word."

Vexen shook his head, looking down. "Either the previously stated words, or the 'What if' machine. Simply put, this machine, once asked a question, will answer it to the fullest of clarity, gaining current information from any and all known sources through its hyperlink capabilities. It 'sees into the future' if you will, with a 99.9 accuracy percentage. Any question you ask it will indeed receive an answer, lest it be...something totally illegible or not probable. But, it is still a prototype, and I haven't reached its 'ready' screen so I can efficiently test it and you haven't understood a word I just said did you Demyx?"

"... ... ...Cool TV! What channels does it get?" Demyx asked poking the various buttons on the back of the machine.

"Sometimes I wonder how you joined the Organization..." he said, further massaging his temple when he noticed the nobody pressing buttons like crazy. "Wait! Stop!" he yelled, but before he could stop Demyx, the machine returned to the fully white screen and said in a metallic tone, "Testing sequence...activated. Request question."

"Yah! What was that? Oh, I got a channel...but it's all white. You got the contrast cranked to the max, Vexy," the younger nobody replied, looking at the screen. Vexen was puzzled.

_How did he get it to initiate the test sequence when I could not... ... ...No matter...at least I can test it now..._Vexen thought, once again retrieving the microphone from the base of the machine. He cleared his throat and began to speak into his empty hand, seeing Demyx just stole the microphone.

"Ooooh! A karaoke machine! I didn't know you were into that Vexy! Oh please can I sing first! What kinds of songs do you have loaded on here-nevermind I know all the words to this one! My shiny teeth that twinkle! Just like the stars in space! My shiny teeth that sparkle, adding beauty to my face"-Demyx rambled on but before he could sing Vexen managed to grab the microphone again. "Awww, please Vexy! I promise I won't be too loud. Please?" he asked, trying to get it back but to no avail.

"No, this is NOT a karaoke machine. If you listened, you would have known that this machine is used to answer 'what if' questions, in other words, not a toy." he stated, deciding to test it once he got rid of the nuisance. He sighed when he saw Demyx cling onto his leg, knowing when he got like this there was no hope. "You can hold on all you want, I'm not letting you play with it. It is highly sensitive machinery, and there's no telling what will happen to it after you're finished with it so no." He tried to avoid the uber chibified soulful look Demyx was giving him, and he tried ignoring the whimpering that uttered out of the boy's mouth. "Number VIIII, remove yourself and vacate my laboratory. Now."

Demyx, still holding onto Vexen's leg, let tears roll down his cheeks. "Please? I'll be really careful and listen to your every instruction! Please!!! You never let me do anything!" he whined into the scientist's cloak.

"No, and that is final." Vexen stated in a firm voice. He was pleased for a moment, thinking that he didn't give in to Demyx's little persuasions, but he heard the latter take in a deep breath and immediately turned to him and said, "Okay! Okay! You win." the entire Organization knew that if you were able to refuse Demyx's cries and constant asking, then he will go into full 'siren mode', a mode in which he will state the word 'Please' in the same continuous tone. Nonstop. And if you're strong enough to endure that, (Zexion's the only known nobody to) then he'll increase pitch in intervals. No one really knows how high he can go, because no one could take it. And when you did give in, it was always the same: His face would instantly light up, tears disappear, grinning fully and he'd say, "Yay!"

"So what do I do? Ask it what channel I wanna watch?" Demyx asked, not noticing Vexen slowly counting from one to ten.

"Ask it any question you would like answered, but put it in a form where it begins, 'What if'. Got it"-

"Memorized?" Axel, being the person he is, instantly appeared and finished Vexen's sentence with his own ending. He spotted the glowing screen and Demyx holding the microphone and put two and two together. "New invention huh? But Vexen, someone already made the karaoke machine." he laughed, snatching the microphone from Demyx's hands only to have it pulled back.

"No way! Vexy said I could go first! And it's not a karaoke machine, it's a glowing TV/question answerer/karaoke machine, duh!" Demyx grinned, showing his stupidity. Vexen on the other hand, was tending to the acidic puddle that has allowed itself to spread and devour almost half his counter.

"Tch, okay. Ask it a question, and don't let it be something stupid." Axel said, leaning on the screen and waiting on Demyx to ask his question.

The nobody thought long and hard, and it was between a question about ducks and the Organization. He decided, raised the microphone to his mouth and said without stuttering, "What if I was the Superior of Organization XIII?"

Axel glanced at Demyx with a surprised and Vexen looked over as well, dropping the mop, which was easily disintegrated by the remaining acid. The two both asked the younger at the same time, "What did you just say?!" only to be shushed by him.

"Look! The screen turning colors! Oh no…did I break it?" he asked, dropping the microphone and backing away. Axel took his spot in front of the screen and stared into the swirling colors.

"No you idiot," he said not taking his gaze off the colors, "it's beginning to finally show some TV!"

Vexen carefully disposed of the remaining acid and made his way towards the screen, pushing Axel and Demyx aside. "No, neither of you are right. My machine is beginning to show you what might happen if you were Superior, Demyx." He said, fully absorbed in the screen himself. When it finally came into focus, the three saw a scene very much similar to the meeting room. The only difference is that someone was sitting in the Superior's spot when the _actual_ Superior was kneeling in front of the oversized chair.

(in the world of What If…)

"So have you completed the mission I assigned you Number XIV?" the man in the hood asked the other on the ground.

"Please, Superior sir…I couldn't complete it… … …Please sir…Have mercy…" Xemnas pleaded on his knees. He was covered in numerous gashes and bruises, and his cloak was damn near torn to shreds. He lowered his head in shame and begged for mercy. "Please My Superior…have mercy on my heartless soul…"

The hooded man laughed, making what was supposed to be a sinister laugh, came a high pitched giggle. He hopped down from the seat and landed right in front of Xemnas. The man lifted his hood off, revealing Demyx's face. "And why is it that you couldn't simply destroy the dog nuisance?" he asked, trying to sound more evil. Apparently it worked, seeing Xemnas cower even more.

"P-please My Superior... ... ...After you gave the dog Kingdom Hearts, its power is immeasurable"- he started only to be kicked in the face by the blonde. He fell backwards on his back, letting out a yell of pain.

"Ha ha ha!" he laughed, kicking Xemnas again in a very sensitive place. "You're pitiful, you couldn't even get rid of a simple three-headed guard dog of Hell? You sicken me...Tuxedo Zexy?" he called, and almost immediately a black portal opened revealing Zexion in a full three piece tuxedo and top hat. He sneered, but upon seeing Demyx his expression simply went to the expressionless mode.

"You rang, Demyx the Almighty God of Wisdom, Intelligence, and Smartness?" he asked in the familliar monotone.

Demyx smiled, walking over to Zexion and pulling out a fairly large syringe filled with a clear liquid. "Come now Tuxedo Zexy, I said you don't have to call me that. My boyfriend can just call me Sugarpie Honeybunch! 'Kay?" he said sweetly before jabbing the needle in the nobody's arm. Zexion winced, but the grimace on his face instantly lit up and he was grinning.

"Okay Sugarlump, what do you need me for?" 'Tuxedo Zexy said in the most cheerful voice anyone has ever heard while planting a large kiss on Demyx's cheek. Demyx of course, giggled like a little schoolgirl but seeing Xemnas staring at the two brought back his 'serious' look.

"Tuxedo Zexy? What do you think would be the perfect punishment for Number XIV for not completing his _incredibly easy _mission?" Demyx said, tickling Zexion under his chin.

"Hmm...I do think he needs a 14-hour time out in the emo corner with Marluxia," he said, smiling even more when he felt the soft movements of his 'Superior's fingers. Xemnas on the other hand was horrified.

"B-but My Superior sir, that's is too cruel! Marluxia threatened to cut me too last time I was in there! Please sir, I beg of you! Lock mein the weight room with Lexaeus sir, let Vexen use me for his experiments, anything but the emo corner!" He was on his knees crying on the hem of Demyx's cloak, pleading him. Demyx just kicked him off.

"Of course, this is perfect! Besides, thanks to them fooling around, Larxene's pregnant and Vexen has full responsibility to take care of her. And Lexaeus can clean the weights himself, he doesn't need incom...incopeet...incopassion..."he looked up trying to pronounce the word when Tuxedo Zexy said it for him. "Ah yes, imcompetence. Thanks sweetie! Yes, you are incompetent! So emo corner for 14 hours it is! And that's final Number XIV! Get out of my sight!" he said turning on his heels and nearly tripping over his feet. He straightened back up and snapped his fingers, summoning two Dancer nobodies. "Take him away."

"No sir! Don't send me there! I'll do anything! Noooooo!!!" Xemnas screamed all the while he was being dragged to the dark, dank evil corner where Marluxia sat, apparently having died his hair black, has nothing but black on and his skin is covered in red deep scars. His mascara covered eyes looked up towards the screaming Xemnas and he he said quite clearly, "Come play with me Xemnas...I promise I won't cry as much..." This only made the silver haired one not want to go even more, which amde Marluxia feel unwanted and caused him to go into a desprate crying fit, yelling 'Nobody wants me' and hastily slicing his leg with a razor.

"Now that that is taken care of, let's see if we can find us some new shoes to match our summer outfits!" Demyx squealed gleefully taking Tuxedo Zexy's hand and skipping out of the room.

"Oh, you mean the outfit we're going to wear to the Summer Paegant? Ooooh, I can't wait!" Zexion exclaimed, skipping as well, "I've been practicing the lines to the song you told me to sing, and I think I got my voice just right!"

-----X------X-----

Vexen, Axel and Demyx stared at the screen, which turned back to a bright white. 'Request question'.

Axel broke the silence.

"Damn Demyx! I didn't know you were that evil!" he yelled, slapping Demyx on the back. He laughed and walked over to Vexen, slinging his arm around his shoulder. "Say Vexy, how accurate _is_ this thing anyway? Would that really happen?"

Vexen still stared into the screen but having an arm fly onto his shoulder snapped him out of it. "Uhh...it's 99.9 accurate, but then again it is a 'What If' machine. This won't neccessarily happen, but it is highly likely. Demyx?" he asked, looking over to the other blonde. Demyx was still glued to the screen, even when he talked, which was in a shaky voice, as if he was going to cry.

"I-I-I-I-I-I-I...did that? But-but-but-...I'm not...bad... ... ...am I? Guys... ... ...Am I...really t-t-t-t-that bad?"

"Hmm..." the Chilly Academic thought, grabbing the microphone and stating clearly into it, 'Sleep mode', "That depends on you, Demyx. But I think it is ready to present to the Superior." and as soon as he said 'Superior', Demyx clinged onto his leg and repedetely cried, "Don't tell him!", nearly knocking Vexen into Axel.

"Demyx, calm down. I don't think this thing records, does it?" Axel asked Vexen, moving to the other side of the table.

Vexen managed to pull free of Demyx and sighed, "No, it doesn't. So nothing to worry about. Now, follow me into the main hall." he stated, replacing the microphone in the base and opening a portal.

_Hmph, if the Superior does see it, poor Demyx wil have a lot of explaning to do...I wonder if everyone would like a DVD copy or VHS..._Vexen thought to himself, hiding his smile as he, Axel and Demyx walked into the portal.

-----X-------X-----

(looks at fic) I honestly think this is THE longest chapter I have ever wrote. Yeah, chapters. Hopefully the next one will be shorter. Anyway, sorry to you Marly fans, I couldn't think of anything else. And again, sorry for the long ass intro, I couldn't establish it any other way. Okay, reviews are welcome and I am taking suggestions on what members will ask what. Any and all ideas accepted! Thanks!


	2. The second qustion: No ice cream!

Wow, didn't think you guys would like this that much. Man, and I've been having this in my head for about three months, not typing it up on account of thinking it wouldn't get any hits or good reviews. Never know until you try...Maybe I'll do this other one as soon as summer vacation is over...Anywho! I was so psyched when I saw the number of reviews in only one short day! Yay! Thank you reviewers (and to the anonymous reviewers, since I can't reply to your reviews and too lazy to e-mail you, thanks for your suggestions and reviews! Glad you liked!) and thanks for your suggestions! Speaking of suggestions, this one is from Attempting Writing. Thanks! (how many times am I going to say thanks?)And now...  
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh or Futurama's idea for the 'What If...' machine. (say it with me now!) Okay? Okay.

Oh, one more thing: In the last chapter, I read back through and saw Demyx calling Xemnas No. XIV. If anyone was getting confused or thought I didn't know my Roman Numerals ('cause I hardly don't) it was supposed to be No. 14. I figured since 13 is XIII I just add X in front of IV. If I'm wrong, let me know. (and yes, he was number 14-Who took number 9? A Demyx water clone. Go figure.)

-----X-------X-----

The three exited the portal with the 'What if' machine in front. Lucky for them, the Organization was already in the main room so there was no need to gather anyone. But apparently, Demyx was still a little shaken over from the previous question result, in fact when Xemnas asked him if he needed help on the mission he issued earlier, Demyx screamed bloody murder, yelling "Nooooooooooo!!! I'll never punish you like that again sir I promise! Don't hurt meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!" Of course Axel just laughed at Demyx's response and Xemnas' confusion. Vexen meanwhile, was ready to test his invention further.

"Vexen, what did you do to make Demyx even more paranoid?" Xemnas asked the scientist, still wondering about No. IIIIX.

"Sir, I did absolutely nothing. He did all of it." Vexen mumbled, saying into the microphone 'Disable Sleep Mode' before whispering in his Superior's ear, "I'll give you the tape later." Walking away from the greatly bewildered Xemnas, he stood before the Organization, a slight joyful look about him. "If you recall"-

"Vexen, why did you bring that? It's a TV in the lower common room." Roxas asked, interrupting the Chilly Academic as he headed for the kitchen craving ice cream. Vexen paid him no mind and tried to continue.

"As I was saying"-

"Yo Roxas! Can you get me a sea-salt cream too!" Luxord called out to the teen, knowing that's why the teen went in there and ignoring Vexen's announcement. Vexen, close to actually losing his cool, tried to continue again.

"About the inven"-

"Yeah Lux! Anyone else want some?" Roxas replied, not noticing Vexen about to pop a blood vessel. He just counted Axel's, Zexion's and Luxord's hands and came back with 23 sea-salt ice cream bars. He handed the nobodies one each and plopped himself down on the couch with the other twenty, happily unwrapping the bar and began to lick it immediately. "Wasn't Vexen gonna turn on the TV?"

Vexen's eye twitched, he took a deep breath and calming himself down so he could talk, he barely said one word before Saix replied to Roxas' question.

"Roxas you honestly think you can devour ALL of those ice creams?"

"Of course! And I don't even get brain free"-

"IF you would recall!" Vexen shouted, thoroughly pissed of all of the interruptions. Everyone stopped what he or she were doing, even the nobodies eating the ice cream, which Roxas noticed, taking his chances and eating theirs. "When I told you all I was working on an invention"-

Axel, noticing his ice cream gone, glared at Roxas and yelled, "Who took my ice cream?!" He would have gotten up if Roxas weren't looking so scared. "Vexen wants me to shut up doesn't he?" the red head asked the blonde, who timidly nodded. Axel looked back to see that Vexen was indeed angered and sat down, still a little amiss over his ice cream.

"I have finished the invention I was working on, and I do believe that this would eventually show us the way to our success. I call it, the 'What if' machine." he said in a proud, confident voice, finally calming himself down. Before he could continue, Larxene interjected.

"Tch, what's so damn special about a makeshift TV?" she laughed, looking at Vexen as if he was an idiot, "What's it supposed to do? Show us how successful only if you weren't here? Ha! I can see that already. This entire thing looks like it capable of doing is nothing but waste my time and be a piece of junk. But hey, at least it's a multitasker!" she giggled at her own words and Vexen's glare.

Vexen sighed. "For your information Larxene, its a machine that, when asked a question stated in a form beginning with 'What if...' will answer it with a"-

"Someone just ask a question already so we can leave!" Larxene interrupted yet again, earning a few snickers and another glare from Vexen.

He sighed, as he always does when he's bothered. "Alright Larxene, then you ask a question since you're so eager to leave." he replied handing her the microphone which she refused, mumbling something sounding like 'I don't want to ask the damn thing nothing...'. Xigbar took the microphone instead. He sat up, placed the large, empty liquor bottle down and spoke into the microphone upside down, his drunkenness made apparent by his hiccupping and slow breathing.

"Heh, I got a quest-hic ion for ya machine Vexy! What if-hic ol' Grape-nuts here got a couple of-hic much needed implants!" he said with a lazy drawl to his voice, staring at Larxene's chest. Of course, she got mad and slapped the shit out of poor Xiggy. Axel, itching to use the machine after witnessing the results of Demyx's question, immediately grabbed the mic.

Glancing at Roxas, he spoke into the mic as if he was DJing, "What about Roxas? I wanna know what'll happen if he can't have ice cream...", finishing the sentence with a sly grin on his face directed towards the blonde, who has already polished off 10 ice creams and started on another one.

"What kind of question is that?!" Roxas shouted, raising the sea-salt to his awaiting taste buds, mouth and tongue completely blue already. Some of the other members were asking why ask an idiotic question as well, but the Chilly Academic paid them no mind.

Actually, Vexen was intrigued. "Hmph, alright. But I should rephrase the question. What if Roxas' allotted consumption of sea-salt flavored ice cream or any for that matter was not allowed for two weeks?" he asked into the microphone, making the screen showcase the swirl of colors before coming into focus. All of the nobodies except Roxas peered into the screen, eager to see the machine in action. The Key of Destiny on the other hand, licked on his ice cream, cursing Xigbar for even asking that question. Who knows, maybe they would cut his consumption of the delicious icy treat, and it'd be all Xigbar's fault. But they wouldn't do that, even if they did, it wouldn't matter that much, wouldn't it?...

-----X-------X-----

(In the world of What If...)

-----X-------X-----

_I can't believe Venus actually wants some of that disgusting filth these imbeciles called ice cream..._

Marluxia thought as he walked down the long hall to the great kitchens of Castle Oblivion. He sighed, walking in and heading straight to the gigantic silver refrigerator. "No doubt the Idiot Trio probably snuck her some and getting her to like the retched bile." he muttered, opening the freezer door searching for the bright blue treat. "I'll have to wean her off it, but for now she can have it. I hate to see my poor Venus Fly Trap so miserable without it...but Venus always seems to be sad when she can't have her way... ... ...I believe I spoiled her... ... ...no, couldn't be..." he muttered, still not finding the ice cream. "Dammit! Where is it? Xaldin just restocked the ice cream supply!" he yelled, slamming the freezer door shut. He thought, glancing up to the ceiling, _Who could have gotten 50 pounds of ice cream... ... ...Roxas!_ He quickly made a portal routed to Roxas' room upon coming to his accusation. When he exited it, he appeared in front of Roxas' bed, which was buried in cleanly licked Popsicle sticks and sticky wrappings.Letting out a sigh of disgust, he summoned his scythe and swung it, generating enough wind to blow some of the wrappings off the bed so he was able to see one lone uneaten ice cream sticking out. He reached for it, failing to pull it out. "Dammit Roxas-this-is-PITIFUL!" he yelled, yanking so hard on the sweet that he pulled Roxas (whose mouth was on the other end of the ice cream) out of the mountain of wrappings. "You've got to be kidding me!" he said, finally looking at the blonde. Roxas was asleep, halfway sucking on the last sea-salt ice cream causing it to melt and leave blue trickles of liquid cream down his chin and onto his cloak. His skin, on the other hand, was amazingly the same shade of blue his favorite ice cream was and almost as cold. Marluxia dropped the ice cream handle, cursing his luck and Roxas. Mad and grossed out, he stormed into another portal routed to the Superior's office.

"Saix... ... ...stop...Someone might come in at any"-

"Superior sir this is madness!" Marluxia shouted, appearing right in front of Saix and Xemnas. Seeing that he came in at the wrong time, he kept quiet but couldn't stop thinking about what he saw. Saix was sitting on Xemnas' desk leaning over kissing Xemnas intensely but immediately stopped when the Graceful Assassin barged in. Xemnas, a little peed that someone stopped their intimacy, broke the silence.

"What is it this time, No. XI?" he asked, still rubbing Saix's lower back. Marluxia, still dazed from the scene, snapped back to reality when he heard the question.

He looked up from Xemnas' hand to his face. "Uhh...yes sir, it's Roxas. He's...gone a little-Who am I kidding he's acting like an addicted, greedy little child!" he said, regaining his composure but only gaining a bored look from his Superior.

"And?"

"Sir, Xaldin just re-stocked our supply for that damned sea-salt ice cream and No. XIII just devoured the last bit of it! In one day mind you!" he yelled, trying to get some kind of reaction besides the emotionless stare and the glare from Saix. "D-don't you think that's...unacceptable?"

Saix leaned closer to his Superior, hoping he would ignore Marluxia as he was and continue but Xemnas edged him back again, making a low snarl come from his lips. "As if anyone cares, you dimwitted pansy. Now leave us."

"Saix, manners," Xemnas said, sliding his hand further down Saix's back and into his pants, "but you do have a point. Where are you going with this No. XI? If Roxas wants the sea-salt ice cream let him have it and get your own."

Trying to avoid Saix's glare, he said to the Superior, "B-but sir, that's just it! He's eaten ALL of the ice cream! And if anyone noticed, he's been constantly eating it, nonstop to where the point that his skin is blue! Hell, he's colder than Vexen!"

Xemnas sighed for two reasons: Saix was VERY impatient and he really didn't care for Marluxia. Edging The Luna Diviner back once more, he fixed his focus on Marluxia and made this statement, "Cut him off for two weeks. No one can have any either. Alert the other members to immediately seize all ice cream confections until further notice. If anyone sees No. XIII about to go out and retrieve some from any other location follow him and make sure he doesn't obtain it. Hopefully if there isn't any in the castle and he can't obtain any from anywhere else, he'll stop being so greedy about it. Happy now?"

The pink-haired one stopped in awe. "Y-yes s-s-s-ir...lovely id-d-dea. I'll put in p-p-place n-now." he was stuttering so badly he caused another snarl to utter from Saix's mouth. He left as quickly as he came, leaving the two to 'continue'.

-----X------X-----

Two Days Later…

-----X------X-----

"What do you mean you didn't but any ice cream?!" Roxas shouted at Xaldin, who was placing various kitchenwares in the specified cabinets, paying the teen no mind. "I know you hear me you fuzzy freak!" That time Xaldin turned around, two spears already at his side. Roxas backed up, smiling sheepishly. "Uhh...nevermind." he ran out and headed up the stairs to his room. He was full blown running to the other side of his bed, and as soon as he reached it, he pushed his bed to the side and lifted up a trapdoor on the floor. Grinning like a maniac, he jumped down but ran into Axel.

"Axel? What are you doing here, and how did you find this place?! Well, since you're down here you must know about my secret stash. Oh well, as long as you saved some. You did at least save me some sea-salt ice cream?" he asked in a long ramble, mainly to hide his body twitches.

"To answer your questions, Yes, Mansex's orders, I been knew about your spot, and uhhhhhhhhhhhh, nah." Axel stated in a calm tone, grinning.

"Huh? What do you mean?" Roxas asked, looking around the now empty spot. "Where's all my ice cream?!" he yelled turning back to Axel, keyblades in hand.

Axel just laughed. "Come on Roxas, you and me And the rest of the Organization know you've been having _wayyyyyyy_ too much ice cream lately. So, by Superior's orders, you're not allowed to have any for two weeks, got it memorized?" he said to his friend, waving two fingers in the air still laughing. He wasn't expecting Roxas to tackle him out of nowhere like that. "Dah! What the-Roxas"-

"I know you got some sea-salt ice cream Axel!" Roxas yelled, shaking Axel furiously, "I know you have some more so GIVE IT NOW!!!"

"Ro…xas…STOOOOOOPP!" the red head tried to get the crazed blonde off him, but to no avail. "I…don't have any! No one does! Get…off!" At these words Roxas got off, but his anger slowly turned into a frown. "I…can't have any…none whatsoever… … …" his voice trailed off, blue eyes swelling with tears. But they quickly dried up as a HUGE grin crept on his face. "Heh heh, okay. If no one in the castle has any, then I'll just go out and get some! Ha ha! You can't outsmart me!" he yelled, nearly flying out of the trapdoor and out of the castle.

"Great, now I gotta follow him…."

-----X-------X-----

One Week Later…

-----X-------X-----

"Damn Demyx! What happened to you?!" Xigbar asked, seeing the Melodious Nocturne limping in on crutches, beaten up badly.

He collapsed on an empty chair, letting his arms fall limply on his sides. "I'm okay, at least Vexen cared for me. Roxas isn't though."

"The hell did he do?"

"Well, I know the Superior told up not to bring…_you know what_…in the castle, right. But I _really_ wanted some. I couldn't help it, there wasn't anything else to satisfy my sweet tooth. So I went to Radiant Gardens and bought a VANILLA…_you know what_. It wasn't even that flavor! I didn't take two steps before he came out of nowhere and attacked me. I didn't stand a chance" he sighed, finishing his short tale and winced when Xigbar grabbed one of the crutches and tapped his leg.

"What's wrong with you! Going against Mansex's orders like that…Did Roxas get it?"

"No, I was able to get rid of it before he threw me down the stairs."

"Well, where is he now?"

"Umm… … …after he saw me melt it I think he went back in his room."

"You know since you hyped him back up, we gotta see what he's doing right?"

Demyx sighed again before taking up his crutches. "I know, I know. But you're coming with me, he's a maniac!"

Xigbar laughed, helping the blonde up. "It's Roxas. I would think he's worse off when he's hyperactive and actually HAD some sugar. Come on, what could he possibly be doing?"

-----X-------X-----

The two nobodies reached No. XIII's room only to hear screams, banging and crashes inside. They looked at each other, then both of them fell to the ground when they heard an extremely loud BOOM, blowing the door off. Xigbar poked his head up only to dive out of the way of the flying ivory white door. When the smoke cleared, both Demyx and Xigbar hesitated before peeking into the room. What they saw was unexpected.

There was blood all over the walls and floors, dripping off and leading a trail all the way to a large mechanic contraption that seemed to be made from various items. The ones that were identifiable was roughly a freezer, two blenders and a hand crank. Sitting beside it was Roxas, finally stopped twitching, grinning madly while holding a bowl to the spout of the machine. What was coming out? Blue soft served sea-salt ice cream.

"Ro…xas… … …What's that?" Demyx said timidly, pointing to the evil looking blood-covered machine.

"This? It's my ice cream maker. Want some?" he asked, filling one bowl and preparing another one.

Xigbar looked at Demyx; Demyx looked at Xigbar. "You know you're not supposed to have any…Don't hurt me!" he squealed, hiding behind The Freeshooter.

"Oh come on, The Superior said I couldn't have any that you had to buy. I didn't but this; I made it. So it's okay." He said before taking a big spoonful and placing it in his mouth. "Try some!"

Xigbar was already in the room with a bowl in his hand, preparing to taste the ice cream. "Well he has a point." He took a small taste, and he immediately his face lit up. "Come on Demyx! It's good, better even!"

"Mm…I didn't get to finish mine…Okay! I want some too! But we gotta hide this from the Superior, okay?" he said to the two, taking a bowl himself. "Agreed?"

"Agreed!" the three knocked their bowls together before taking into the sea-salt ice cream. None of them noticed Vexen's bloodied shield in the corner and a blood-soaked bag next to it saying, 'Ice cream ingredients'.

-----X-------X-----

All was silent. Roxas even stopped eating the rest of the sea-salt ice cream.

"You used me for your craving?" Vexen asked the teen, backing away form his as if he was ready to kill him any moment. "And you two just stood there and ate me like it was nothing!"

"Vexen…It does make sense, you being ice element and all. Not a bad idea, I'll have to keep it in mind if I run out." Roxas said, starting back on the half melted treat. Vexen was feeling mad yet he was scared of Roxas, thinking he would actually do it if the situation arised.

"Don't worry Vexen, you said yourself it's a 'What if' machine, and it won't necessarily happen." Zexion said in his bored tone, standing up and taking the microphone. "But…it is 99.9 accurate…How about I take over for you while you collect your thoughts, hm?" he said to the Chilly Academic, watching him go to his room in a hurried sort of state.

-----X------X-----

Vexen was ice cream, cool. (ha ha!) Poor Vexy, so sorry. Roxas went crazy, and now he's dead. (in the world of What If…)

Review please!


	3. Luxord actually lost!

Yay! More What is (meant if) (everyone makes mistakes, and you should know I make a lot-no spell check on computer)

Last time I said I was gonna make the chapters shorter, the one before this was actually longer I think. But this one is shorter. So if you want longer chapters, just let me know.  
This suggestion comes from Bluemoon4Sphinx. (hope I spelled that right) Anyways, on with the disclaimer! (ha!)

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts' characters, okay? Okay.

-----X-------X-----

As Zexion made sure Vexen was calming down in his room, the other Organization members made sure Roxas satisified his sea-salt ice cream cravings. On the other hand, Luxord was making bets on who would the next question would be about.

"Umm...I say 100 it's gonna be about Marluxia!" Demyx said, slapping his munny on the table.

"Nah, I think it's Fangface's turn, and I put my 380 down, got it memorized?" Axel said, placing his down and jumping back from a growling Saix.

"Oh, is that so Axel?" Saix added, moving towards the red head and summoning his claymore.

"Hey, what's with the violence? Just make a simple bet on who you think is next, that's all!" Luxord replied, counting the munny and keeping track of all the bet placements. He laughed, "Larxene? Don't wanna get in on it?"

She scowled at him, "No, I don't even know why they are betting. We all know you're gonna win, you always do. So none for me." she finished, grabbing a random magazine from the table and flipped through it.

"She does have a point ya know," Roxas added, trying to take back his munny but Luxord wouldn't let him. "Hey, come on, why not? Well can I at least change my bet to whatever you're betting on?"

"No Roxas, you should know me by now. And just to shut you all up, I bet it'll be me next," the Britain said adding his own munny to the pile, "just to be fair."

Just as everyone else entered their bets, Zexion returned, holding his cloak a little tighter around him. "I swear, I don't see how he can stand those temperatures...What is going on?" he asked, seeing Luxord hiding the pile of munny hastily. "Nevermind, look. Vexen put me in charge of testing his machine until he returns, so who's next?"

Larxene not waiting for Zexion to finish, grabbed the microphone and spoke into it. "Is it still on? What if...Oh forget it, this is stupid!" she yelled, tossing the mic behind her. Lexaeus caught it, not wanting it to fall and possibly damage.

"What is it Larxene? What did you want to ask?" Zexion asked her, but she didn't reply. He paid her no mind as he took the mic from Lexaeus. "Fine, I'll say something. What if our own Gambler of Fate actually _lose_ at his own game?" he replied clearly into the head, ignoring the rest of the Organization's groans as Luxord placed the munny in his pockets.

-----X-------X-----

(In the world of What If...)

-----X-------X-----

The screen displays flashing lights, colorful screens, scantly clad strippers and druken gamblers. One of the largest casinos in The World that Never Was, The Night Life, was also Luxord's hot spot. He was currently playing a game of blackjack with some of the best players ever heard of, and he had a full blown 21 in his hand. Slapping the cards on the table, his eyes light up with an amount of joy comparable to the munny he just raked in. Feeling confident, he set off for a new challenge, eyeing the dealer at the poker table. Pockets full of chips, he decided to play a couple of hands before he left for Castle Oblivion. He wasn't even supposed to be in the casino, actually supposed to be completing a mission. But good times were a plenty and he felt lucky, as he always did. So lucky in fact that he decided to double the Organization's profits, actually emptying the _entire _account and taking it with him. So far so good, he thought he could finish his rounds in one fell swoop on the poker table.

"Come on, Lady Luck is callin' me over here!"

A couple of hands, ten grand, and a flurry of drinks had The Gambler of Fate giddy and light-headed. He looked at the cards and he kept his face straight, but in his mind he was grinning. _Four aces, yes! Nothing beats four aces, I got this in the bag._ He shoved all his chips and munny on the table. "All in," he said slyly, looking at the other players. There was a ample amount of murmurs about, but then silence as Luxord showed the four aces in his hand. "Ha! Four aces my friends! Sorry to say, but looks like I win!" the blonde said proudly, attempting to capture his spoiles, but a player stopped him.

"Sorry, but you haven't won." the hooded player replied, picking up his cards and revealing a royal flush. "Nothing beats aces except a _royal flush_, so I belive _I_ win."

Luxord's face just as fast as it lifted. He sat back in his seat in awe, not believing that he, The Gambler of Fate, the Undefeated, just lost. He wouldn't believe it. "Hey wait a minute! Just who are you anyway?!" he shouted over the table, standing up to get a better look. _Maybe he was another one of those jealous cheaters that tried to get me to lose...I can recognize them anywhere..._

The hooded player laughed, looking up to Luxord. He lifted his hood to reveal silver hair. "Oh, I'm sure you recognize me," he said with a smirk, standing up himself to be face to face with the Gambler.

Luxord's eyes grew with fear. "S-S-Sephiroth?! W-wha...what are you doing here?!" he stuttered, backing away from the table. _How in the hell I was supposed to know that was Sephiroth?! Oh man..._

"Just beating some of the saps here for a little pocketchange, is all. And thanks Luxord, looks like you filled my pockets to the maximum." he said, taking the munny and laughing as he left the casino. Luxord still couldn't believe it. He stood there in disbelief for a while, even after the other people left. Just how could he lose?

"All that munny I could've won...Gone... ... ...munny...Oh shit." the British blonde just remembered that he went all in,including the Organization's entire account.

_I'm screwed..._

-----X-------X----

"Knock knock, hey Lux," Axel rapped on No. X's door, grinning. "Come on, you said if I beat you in a game of Magic: The Gathering, I can get that Havoc Demon off your hands!"

"Lux? Hey you in there?" Axel decided to just walk in only to be pulled in by Luxord. "Yo! What the-What's up with you?"

Luxord was frantic, not to mention a little disheveled. He grabbed Axel bu the shoulders, "Look, you have to keep this a secret. And if I tell you, you have to help me," he said, voice a little shaky, "I mean seriously Axel. You. Have. To. HELP! ME!"

"Uhh...okay. I got it memorized. So, what's the problem?"

The Gambler of Fate let the red head go, sighed andmumbled. "I lost a poker game."

Axel laughed. "Can't quite hear you Lux."

He glared at Axel. "I lost a poker game." he said louder.

Axel blinked, then burst out laughing. "Ha ha, YOU? Lost? About time! Ha ha!"

"And the entire Organization's munny account savings."

At this he stopped. "You WHAT?! Mansex is gonna kick your ass! Turn you into a Dusk! A Creeper even! Hell probably a White Mushroom! You're dead Luxord! Oh my GOD how did you do that! Wait, ALL of the munny?! That means my munny too you jackass! Luxord you better pay up or else"-

"Axel shut up!" Luxord yelled, making sure no one heard Axel's outburst. "Don't you think I know that? And you just said that you'd help me too, so shut up and get over it."

"Man forget it. Losin' MY munny means losin' MY help. And I expect MY munny first!"(trinity!) he yelled before teleporting out the room.

"Wait Axel! Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit." he muttered, flopping on the bed. "As long as he doesn't tell"-

"No. X." Xemnas said, teleporting ino the room with Axel. "What is this I hear about you losing a poker game?" He stated, Axel grinning behind him. Luxord stared at the two.

"I...uh...well sir I... ... ...did lose. But I can get it back! I promise! I didn't try to lose all our munny sir, I didn't know Sephiroth had a royal flush!" Luxord confessed to his Superior, but stopped when he saw the Superior's confused face. "Axel...didn't tell you that part, did he?" 

Xemnas' confusement quickily turned into rage. "You do know the consequences of this. I expect _very _cent returned in two weeks, is that clear?"

"But sir"-

"This is final." Xemnas said in a furiously angered voice. "oh, and Luxord..."

"Yes sir? No...no please!"

-----X------X-----

"Hey Luxord! Nice legs!" Axel yelled, whooping up at The Gambler of Fate, who was at a stripper pole dancing in nothing but a man thong. His face was covered in hooker make up, and he had a miserable look about him. The blush on his face darkened when he felt some guy's hand smack his butt.

_Why me...Damn Sephiroth..._he thought, noticing out of the corner of his eye the familiar silver haired monster. Sephiroth just waved.

-----X-------X-----

"Ha! Luxord actually looks good in a thong, don't ya think?!" Axel laughing so hard he fell off the couch. Luxord was fuming, getting even more mad when he heard Marluxia's comment.

No. X, come to think of it, with a silver halter top and a metallic pink miniskirt, you could rival Sugarlips!"

"Man who the hell is Sugarlips?!" Luxord yelled, jumping back from Marluxia.

"Oh, he's one of the best male strippers, never heard of 'em? Oh, his legs can go for miles, I swear! And his smile..."

_I don't even care anymore..._

-----X-------X-----

Sorry if this isn't up to par, wanted to squeeze this out before summer vacation, something to read while I take my three-month leave. Keep sending the suggestions though, at least I can see and reply back on weekends during the summer!

Thanks for the reviews guys, and review please!

(looks around)... ... ...(trinity!)


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